When I'm old...
I was preparing an assembly today for later this week on 'Tolerance'. I was inspired - thanks to a discussion with one of the lab technicians at FCC - to use an old man as a basis. It got me thinking about who is being tolerant of whom, and wondered what it must be like to be an older person (thinking late 70's+) living in today's society. With this in mind, I began typing a few thoughts down, and it turned into the following monologue...
Change, and new experience can be scary - especially when you don't understand it. Think back to a time when you had to make a big change, or do something new. How did you feel? What were you thinking? Now imagine seeing these sorts of changes every day and not understanding any of it.
This divide isn't just between young people and old people; we will never know what is going on in the private lives of others, so when they seem to be annoying or don't seem to like things about us, we need to try to stop and think: is the problem their problem that they need to deal with, or do we need to stop and look at ourselves to see if we need to change; most of the time it's going to be a mixture of the two, and it may be confusing - that's why we also need to be prepared to discuss with others who are not necessarily our own peers.
"I was told to come and speak to you about growing old. I don't know why - maybe it's because they know I will tell you what you need to hear.
When I was a young boy - about your age - we had great respect for our elders - that's our parents and teachers, and anyone else we met in the street. If we did not show respect at school, we would get the cane across our backsides - "6 of the best" the headmaster used to say; or up to ten whacks across the knuckles with the edge of a ruler - that usually brought blood.
If we were rude or disobedient at home, then father would get the slipper and give us a good whack on the backside. And then we would be sent to our room with no supper.
You children today have got it so easy. You are wrapped up in cotton wool and allowed to do what you want. You are all extremely rude to everybody, and you have no respect - I doubt you even know what it means any more.
Oh yes, the cane and ruler were both painful, but it taught us a lot. We knew when to sit down and when to shut up. But you all answer back without even thinking how rude you are being.
My friends often talk about our neighbourhoods, and how you have all messed them up. You walk around swearing - even when little children are there with their parents - and you don't seem to care that you are always offending people.
They should bring back punishment - that would make you think and smarten yourselves up. You dress appallingly - the boys with their jeans half way down the legs, and the girls wearing next to nothing - it's absolutely disgusting.
You go around smoking and drinking - even some of you at your age ' you don't even care that you might be killing your bodies with that.
In my day we had boundaries - we knew when we were going too far and knew when it was time to stop. But nowadays you have no idea what boundaries are. I hate walking in the street now - especially at night time. You young people all going around in your gangs, causing a nuisance - I guess if there were more police around you may think differently. The streets just aren't safe for us old people any more.
We always read about you all going round in gangs and causing muggings, and even trying to sneak into our homes by pretending you want to help with something, then you steal all our possessions. My old age is meant to be a reward for the hard work that I put in throughout my life, but I don't like it most of the time because you make the world a scary place for me and my friends, and you don't seem to notice or even care.
Last year my friend had a heart attack because some of you started shouting through her letter box on Halloween when she wouldn't answer the door. Do you understand? You scared her so much that she nearly died. She's alive still, thank goodness - but you almost killed her - you are so focussed on yourselves and what you want - that you don't bother thinking how you make others feel.
Sometimes I think that I look forward to dying; because when I'm dead and gone I wont ever have to worry about meeting a crowd of you when I'm on my way to the shops for the paper and milk, and I wont have to wonder whether this is the crowd that are going to knock me down and steal everything I have with me.
I guess I'm just too old for this world now. I know most of you are okay really, it's just so difficult for me to see a world becoming so fast, and so very different from when I was at school. And when I read in the papers about other old people dying and you young people who have ASBO's, I get scared about my own life and scared of you. I'm worried about what you might do to my friends. But you don't make it easy for us.... Hmm, maybe we haven't made it easy for you.... Sorry.
I do wonder one thing, though - and this is why I'm glad I'm old now, and not in fifty years time: If the world is going to keep changing and getting scarier every day, and if respect for others keeps getting less and less, I wonder what it will be like for you when you get old; and whether you will be scared to step outside of your own front door."
When I was a young boy - about your age - we had great respect for our elders - that's our parents and teachers, and anyone else we met in the street. If we did not show respect at school, we would get the cane across our backsides - "6 of the best" the headmaster used to say; or up to ten whacks across the knuckles with the edge of a ruler - that usually brought blood.
If we were rude or disobedient at home, then father would get the slipper and give us a good whack on the backside. And then we would be sent to our room with no supper.
You children today have got it so easy. You are wrapped up in cotton wool and allowed to do what you want. You are all extremely rude to everybody, and you have no respect - I doubt you even know what it means any more.
Oh yes, the cane and ruler were both painful, but it taught us a lot. We knew when to sit down and when to shut up. But you all answer back without even thinking how rude you are being.
My friends often talk about our neighbourhoods, and how you have all messed them up. You walk around swearing - even when little children are there with their parents - and you don't seem to care that you are always offending people.
They should bring back punishment - that would make you think and smarten yourselves up. You dress appallingly - the boys with their jeans half way down the legs, and the girls wearing next to nothing - it's absolutely disgusting.
You go around smoking and drinking - even some of you at your age ' you don't even care that you might be killing your bodies with that.
In my day we had boundaries - we knew when we were going too far and knew when it was time to stop. But nowadays you have no idea what boundaries are. I hate walking in the street now - especially at night time. You young people all going around in your gangs, causing a nuisance - I guess if there were more police around you may think differently. The streets just aren't safe for us old people any more.
We always read about you all going round in gangs and causing muggings, and even trying to sneak into our homes by pretending you want to help with something, then you steal all our possessions. My old age is meant to be a reward for the hard work that I put in throughout my life, but I don't like it most of the time because you make the world a scary place for me and my friends, and you don't seem to notice or even care.
Last year my friend had a heart attack because some of you started shouting through her letter box on Halloween when she wouldn't answer the door. Do you understand? You scared her so much that she nearly died. She's alive still, thank goodness - but you almost killed her - you are so focussed on yourselves and what you want - that you don't bother thinking how you make others feel.
Sometimes I think that I look forward to dying; because when I'm dead and gone I wont ever have to worry about meeting a crowd of you when I'm on my way to the shops for the paper and milk, and I wont have to wonder whether this is the crowd that are going to knock me down and steal everything I have with me.
I guess I'm just too old for this world now. I know most of you are okay really, it's just so difficult for me to see a world becoming so fast, and so very different from when I was at school. And when I read in the papers about other old people dying and you young people who have ASBO's, I get scared about my own life and scared of you. I'm worried about what you might do to my friends. But you don't make it easy for us.... Hmm, maybe we haven't made it easy for you.... Sorry.
I do wonder one thing, though - and this is why I'm glad I'm old now, and not in fifty years time: If the world is going to keep changing and getting scarier every day, and if respect for others keeps getting less and less, I wonder what it will be like for you when you get old; and whether you will be scared to step outside of your own front door."
Change, and new experience can be scary - especially when you don't understand it. Think back to a time when you had to make a big change, or do something new. How did you feel? What were you thinking? Now imagine seeing these sorts of changes every day and not understanding any of it.
This divide isn't just between young people and old people; we will never know what is going on in the private lives of others, so when they seem to be annoying or don't seem to like things about us, we need to try to stop and think: is the problem their problem that they need to deal with, or do we need to stop and look at ourselves to see if we need to change; most of the time it's going to be a mixture of the two, and it may be confusing - that's why we also need to be prepared to discuss with others who are not necessarily our own peers.
posted by Mark Burgess at
7:21 PM
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