First Time in Two Months!!

Today I rode my motorbike for the first time in two months. Very good feeling - although it certainly does need a full service; probably front brake-pad replacement, and possible front wheel alignment - I love having to shell out money - NOT!

But who cares, coz my bike at least starts, goes and stops again now!

Slide Show

I was just having a quick glance at my website and thinking that I really must update it a lot! Anyhow, here's the slide show from the site if you wanna look.

The question is, what do I need to do to the site? I wish I had the technical wizardry to make it look good!

Our...

Today in Christian Union, we began a new series looking at the Lord's Prayer. The task for today was to focus on the lines:

"Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name"

It was a successful session, with us getting as far as the first two words! Most of the time was focussed on the word 'Father' and the repercussions of its usage, discussing the cultural relevance between the culture and country of Jesus' day compared to now. It was aboout half way through the time that something clicked, and melded with something I had thought of a few years back.

While I was on Community at Lee Abbey there was a time where praying didn't come easily (actually there have been many of those throughout my time there and, indeed, through life!). The fact that I could sit down in the knowledge that others were praying 'OUR Father' was a comfort, because I knew that in doing this, they could be praying the words on my behalf. Today I was suddenly aware of the fact that praying 'Our' not 'My' Father is an integral part of the Christian faith; for the Church culture of today is very much focussed on a personal relationship with God, 'It's all about me!' whereas Church is about Community - people sharing life together., building each other up, encouraging and challenging. The Church, in teaching so much about the need for a personal faith, is encouraging the formation of a group of individuals who enjoy singing songs to make themselves feel good and safe, rather than a Church of God's people coming together to corporately (amongst other things) give praise and worship to the One who made/created/designed/formed us individually, yes, but in the image of God as a body.

Hmm, not sure where to go with this. Any thoughts?!

Would this give me Yaggo qualities?!

I just did this the "What group are you?" Quiz. The results follow. But I'm still like, 'erm, really?!' - I think this ain't too good. But anyone from Frome, please tell me, does this make me a predominant Yaggo? Ooh-er!

You scored as Rocker, Mosher. Your A Rocker! Rocker, Mosher 35% Trendy 25% Prepy 15% Goth 15% Emo 10% Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev 5% Skater 0% What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy Ect created with QuizFarm.com

Time Sheets

Have any of you ever had to fill in monthly time sheets before you get paid?!

That's what I've been doing today for the Young Carer's Group that I co-run. Time sheet filling in is so exciting - NOT!

My time sheets go back (I'm ashamed to say) to June - my reason? I guess it's that I hate admin stuff, but also that I only claim for very few hours each month, so if I allow them to build up and put in a few claims in one go, it looks like I get paid more! Okay, well, it works in my head anyhow!

The funny thing is, coz it's admin work, and taken me a while to sort it out, I think I may be able to claim for it - effectively getting paid to make sure that I get paid. The question is, 'To claim or not to claim?!' On the one hand, it makes perfect sense, but on the other, is it ethically a good thing to do, just for anoher few quid? I guess I shall just have to ask!

Stating the Obvious - Too Obviously?

This morning, in my pigeonhole at Frome College, I received my rota for assemblies next term. Of the 14 assemblies that I am down to do, yet again I didn't get one of the choices that I had been really keep to talk about - 'death'. I am not sure why, but maybe it's because I will not edge round the subject with caution, but face it straight on. Is death really such a taboo subject on this earth?

In the film, 'Patch Adams' (if you haven't seen it, why not?!) there is a scene where Patch is addressing a board of doctors, and comments after they asked him what would happen if a patient in his care died; to this question, Patch responds,

"What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference."

Whether this was something that Patch Adams said in real life, or made up for the film, I totally agree with it. There is only one thing certain in this life; that thing is death. It won't go away if we decide that we shouldn't talk about it - in fact, I believe that when we do make something, such as death, a taboo then it will sneak up on us and damage us all the more as we see loved ones die, whether suddenly or over a long period of suffering. And although 'It will never happen to me', I could also suddenly be faced with a personal knowledge that I have only weeks left to live. If that were to happen, how do I suddenly face it if I've never allowed myself to face the one-day expected?

I think I may have already posted something like this a while ago, so apologies if I'm repeating myself!! MB.

SPAM: did u m1ss $umthing v1tal?

Chances are, if you're reading this blog, then you have an email account.

Chances are, if you have an email account, then you have experienced the annoyance of 'Spam'.

Chances are, if you've experienced the annoyance of 'Spam', then you've probably also deleted at least one important email by mistake.

I wonder, then, in a world that is full of audio and visual noise, whether there is so much 'Spam' all around us, that when we try to block out all the mixed messages that we know are not worth anything, that we delete - without recognition - some of life's essential messages to us. What these messages are, I don't know; it could simply be our bodies shouting to slow down a little; consume just that bit less alcohol or junk food; it could be a friend crying out for five minutes of our time to talk through an issue which has been bugging them for ages; it could be our brains saying, "There's too much noise!"

I wonder if we can sort out our bodie's 'Spam filters' a bit better? Maybe that means looking inwardly for a while, or possibly switching to a new account - changing parts of life's business (or busy-ness?). I dunno. Maybe it's not even an issue - to be honest, there's too much going on for me to come to any real conclusion.

Just a Shell - an Existing Community Discovered

At just after 6:20 yesterday evening, I sat at my Granny's bedside at Heatherwood hospital with 5 other family members and watched her breathe her last ever breath.

It was a completely weird thing to experience. The hours leading up to this time had been strange - we would all talk, laugh, bring up old memories, then all of a sudden there would be complete silence as we all focused on the frail figure laying in bed who was my heavily sedated grandmother, yet looked nothing like her. Every so often Granny would stop breathing for a few seconds, at which point our hearts almost seemed to skip a few beats, then she would gasp another breath in her closing-down body. Then suddenly her already pale face turned white, her lips turned the same colour, and her pulse disappeared. She had died.

We had to leave the room for a short while a few minutes after she had died, so that the staff could straighten her up a bit.
There were tears of sadness shared, but also breaths of relief that Granny's life had ended peacefully. When we went back in, Granny wasn't there, this shell of an old woman, now with all the facial wrinkles miraculously vanished, was not my Granny, nor my mum's mother, nor my great-aunt's sister. Granny had died. All that was left was an overly-thin body of someone we never knew.

As sad as it was, I am glad that I was there as Granny's life gently slipped away. I've been in search of deeper forms of Community for so long and yesterday, in the waiting, and the ending, I found one again in my family. It's funny that it's there all the time, yet it can take something like a death to help you to see it.

We will miss you, Granny Jo, but we will always have our memories of you and different bits of your personality will live on in your offspring in different ways. Enjoy your new life up there - and get some pork crackling done ready for me - yours was always the best!

Apparently I'm random

According to my fiancee, I'm very random. I can't quite work out why she thinks this. yeah right! - This is what I typed to her as soon as she had told me...

"squids aren't purple when they are coloured with moon dust - random enough for you?"

"The animals are attacking - verily I say they are killing the sweet soft sound of the brightness of the dark place."

!!!I like being random!!!