anapauo

First Time in Two Months!!

2007-02-02T11:43:00.000Z

Today I rode my motorbike for the first time in two months. Very good feeling - although it certainly does need a full service; probably front brake-pad replacement, and possible front wheel alignment - I love having to shell out money - NOT!

But who cares, coz my bike at least starts, goes and stops again now!

Slide Show

2007-02-02T11:38:00.000Z

I was just having a quick glance at my website and thinking that I really must update it a lot! Anyhow, here's the slide show from the site if you wanna look.

The question is, what do I need to do to the site? I wish I had the technical wizardry to make it look good!

Our...

2007-01-30T14:41:00.000Z

Today in Christian Union, we began a new series looking at the Lord's Prayer. The task for today was to focus on the lines:

"Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name"

It was a successful session, with us getting as far as the first two words! Most of the time was focussed on the word 'Father' and the repercussions of its usage, discussing the cultural relevance between the culture and country of Jesus' day compared to now. It was aboout half way through the time that something clicked, and melded with something I had thought of a few years back.

While I was on Community at Lee Abbey there was a time where praying didn't come easily (actually there have been many of those throughout my time there and, indeed, through life!). The fact that I could sit down in the knowledge that others were praying 'OUR Father' was a comfort, because I knew that in doing this, they could be praying the words on my behalf. Today I was suddenly aware of the fact that praying 'Our' not 'My' Father is an integral part of the Christian faith; for the Church culture of today is very much focussed on a personal relationship with God, 'It's all about me!' whereas Church is about Community - people sharing life together., building each other up, encouraging and challenging. The Church, in teaching so much about the need for a personal faith, is encouraging the formation of a group of individuals who enjoy singing songs to make themselves feel good and safe, rather than a Church of God's people coming together to corporately (amongst other things) give praise and worship to the One who made/created/designed/formed us individually, yes, but in the image of God as a body.

Hmm, not sure where to go with this. Any thoughts?!

Would this give me Yaggo qualities?!

2006-12-15T09:53:00.000Z

I just did this the "What group are you?" Quiz. The results follow. But I'm still like, 'erm, really?!' - I think this ain't too good. But anyone from Frome, please tell me, does this make me a predominant Yaggo? Ooh-er!

You scored as Rocker, Mosher. Your A Rocker!

Rocker, Mosher

35%

Trendy

25%

Prepy

15%

Goth

15%

Emo

10%

Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev

Skater

What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy Ect
created with QuizFarm.com

Time Sheets

2006-12-07T12:26:00.000Z

Have any of you ever had to fill in monthly time sheets before you get paid?!

That's what I've been doing today for the Young Carer's Group that I co-run. Time sheet filling in is so exciting - NOT!

My time sheets go back (I'm ashamed to say) to June - my reason? I guess it's that I hate admin stuff, but also that I only claim for very few hours each month, so if I allow them to build up and put in a few claims in one go, it looks like I get paid more! Okay, well, it works in my head anyhow!

The funny thing is, coz it's admin work, and taken me a while to sort it out, I think I may be able to claim for it - effectively getting paid to make sure that I get paid. The question is, 'To claim or not to claim?!' On the one hand, it makes perfect sense, but on the other, is it ethically a good thing to do, just for anoher few quid? I guess I shall just have to ask!

Why are pirates called pirates?

2006-10-03T15:26:00.000+01:00

So, why are pirates called pirates?

Coz they "Arrrrr"!

Apparently no one knows any other pirate jokes than this. I was approached by someone having told this joke and have been asked a few times by them since "Have you got another pirate joke for me yet?" My answer was, until earlier today, "no, sorry!"

But, joy of joys, I did a google search for "pirate jokes" and it came up with this as the top answer: piratejokes - how excited I was - how wrong I was to get excited!! Most of the jokes are either completely useless (mind you, so was the first one!) or have "Arrrrrr" somewhere in the punchline.

Does anyone know of any good pirate jokes? Please let me know!!

Nooma

2006-11-21T13:01:00.000Z

"The name NOOMA is an English phonetic spelling of the Greek
word pneuma, which is commonly translated to 'spirit' or 'breath'."

From Thursday - Sunday last week, I went to Eastbourne for "Youthwork the Conference". The first 24 hours were an optional extra for full-time youth workers, and the speaker was an American guy called Rob Bell, who is a pastor of a church in the US. He was so inspiring to hear - very fresh, and totally immersed in the culture of Biblical times, giving new insights to what it means to be a Christain in today's world - being relevant to those around us, not just quoting random bits of the Bible and expecting those who hear to understand.

Rob also releases short (aprox 12 min.) DVDs on different aspects of life as a Christian. They are very thought provoking. The DVD's are called 'Nooma' have a read about them here. The only downside is the cost - at ₤9.50 a DVD they don't come cheap. But definitely worth investing in one every-so-often. The 14th DVD is about to be released in the UK, and we were able to watch it the other day, and as per the others, it's just as thought provoking. Here's a clip from it: Breathe

Let us know your thoughts on the Nooma DVDs if you've seen them.

Stating the Obvious - Too Obviously?

2006-12-07T10:30:00.000Z

This morning, in my pigeonhole at Frome College, I received my rota for assemblies next term. Of the 14 assemblies that I am down to do, yet again I didn't get one of the choices that I had been really keep to talk about - 'death'. I am not sure why, but maybe it's because I will not edge round the subject with caution, but face it straight on. Is death really such a taboo subject on this earth?

In the film, 'Patch Adams' (if you haven't seen it, why not?!) there is a scene where Patch is addressing a board of doctors, and comments after they asked him what would happen if a patient in his care died; to this question, Patch responds,

"What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference."

Whether this was something that Patch Adams said in real life, or made up for the film, I totally agree with it. There is only one thing certain in this life; that thing is death. It won't go away if we decide that we shouldn't talk about it - in fact, I believe that when we do make something, such as death, a taboo then it will sneak up on us and damage us all the more as we see loved ones die, whether suddenly or over a long period of suffering. And although 'It will never happen to me', I could also suddenly be faced with a personal knowledge that I have only weeks left to live. If that were to happen, how do I suddenly face it if I've never allowed myself to face the one-day expected?

I think I may have already posted something like this a while ago, so apologies if I'm repeating myself!! MB.

SPAM: did u m1ss $umthing v1tal?

2006-12-05T12:28:00.000Z

Chances are, if you're reading this blog, then you have an email account.

Chances are, if you have an email account, then you have experienced the annoyance of 'Spam'.

Chances are, if you've experienced the annoyance of 'Spam', then you've probably also deleted at least one important email by mistake.

I wonder, then, in a world that is full of audio and visual noise, whether there is so much 'Spam' all around us, that when we try to block out all the mixed messages that we know are not worth anything, that we delete - without recognition - some of life's essential messages to us. What these messages are, I don't know; it could simply be our bodies shouting to slow down a little; consume just that bit less alcohol or junk food; it could be a friend crying out for five minutes of our time to talk through an issue which has been bugging them for ages; it could be our brains saying, "There's too much noise!"

I wonder if we can sort out our bodie's 'Spam filters' a bit better? Maybe that means looking inwardly for a while, or possibly switching to a new account - changing parts of life's business (or busy-ness?). I dunno. Maybe it's not even an issue - to be honest, there's too much going on for me to come to any real conclusion.

Just a Shell - an Existing Community Discovered

2006-12-01T11:05:00.000Z

At just after 6:20 yesterday evening, I sat at my Granny's bedside at Heatherwood hospital with 5 other family members and watched her breathe her last ever breath.

It was a completely weird thing to experience. The hours leading up to this time had been strange - we would all talk, laugh, bring up old memories, then all of a sudden there would be complete silence as we all focused on the frail figure laying in bed who was my heavily sedated grandmother, yet looked nothing like her. Every so often Granny would stop breathing for a few seconds, at which point our hearts almost seemed to skip a few beats, then she would gasp another breath in her closing-down body. Then suddenly her already pale face turned white, her lips turned the same colour, and her pulse disappeared. She had died.

We had to leave the room for a short while a few minutes after she had died, so that the staff could straighten her up a bit.
There were tears of sadness shared, but also breaths of relief that Granny's life had ended peacefully. When we went back in, Granny wasn't there, this shell of an old woman, now with all the facial wrinkles miraculously vanished, was not my Granny, nor my mum's mother, nor my great-aunt's sister. Granny had died. All that was left was an overly-thin body of someone we never knew.

As sad as it was, I am glad that I was there as Granny's life gently slipped away. I've been in search of deeper forms of Community for so long and yesterday, in the waiting, and the ending, I found one again in my family. It's funny that it's there all the time, yet it can take something like a death to help you to see it.

We will miss you, Granny Jo, but we will always have our memories of you and different bits of your personality will live on in your offspring in different ways. Enjoy your new life up there - and get some pork crackling done ready for me - yours was always the best!

Apparently I'm random

2006-11-30T23:46:00.000Z

According to my fiancee, I'm very random. I can't quite work out why she thinks this. yeah right! - This is what I typed to her as soon as she had told me...

"squids aren't purple when they are coloured with moon dust - random enough for you?"

"The animals are attacking - verily I say they are killing the sweet soft sound of the brightness of the dark place."

!!!I like being random!!!

Misinterpetation to an extreme?

2006-11-28T12:47:00.000Z

I have just been planning Christian Union for this week, and stumbled upon a website, which I only reccommend if you want to laugh out loud at the apparent stupidity of whoever came up with these notions of 121 Reasons that Christians shouldn't celebrate Christmas.

I've looked up some of the passages mentioned, read some of the thoughts without Biblical references, and am just gobsmacked by the whole farce. What I've read has been taken completely out of context - not just this, but the Bible reference doesn't even seem to tie in with the sentence the author has put with it.

You try and work it out - I certainly am stumped. My thoughts on this? This is definitely proof that as much as we have God-given brains and abilities, "Individuals" should not read the Bible - it needs careful pondering, prayer, thought and accountability to others already with a grounding in what it's about - because, as much as I laughed at some of this guys comments, it scared me somewhat to know that people can even begin believing this stuff. Don't get me wrong - the basic message of God's love and grace is evident throughout the Bible, and I have no problem at all with people reading the Bible on their own - but to come out with thoughts such as this is not healthy.

Stop The Traffik

2006-11-28T09:36:00.000Z

What is this Stop The Traffik about? Take a look - it speaks for itself - get involved. The big event that is being looked ahead towards is Freedom Day on March 25th, 2007.

It was decided at a conference for Christian youth workers a couple of weeks ago, that around the world, we would encourage people - not just Christians, but whoever could take it and make it something where they can spiritually and/or emotionally connect - to have a time of vigil in the 24 hours leading up to March 25, Freedom Day. Frome Christian Youth will certainly be joining in this vigil, and local churches are already being told about it in preparation.

Frome Community College will certainly be - they have an Amnesty International group here, who will be co-ordinating things.

Will you be supporting this in any way? Why? Why not? What will you be doing? What could you offer? Could you be the voice that kicks part of redemptive history into gear?

Before we die...

2006-09-22T09:56:00.000+01:00

Memorable Quotes from
Bill Bailey: Part Troll (2004) (V)

Bill Bailey: The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.

Bill Bailey: No.18, see the Earth from space, conveniently forgetting become an astronaut at some point.

Bill Bailey: I'd want to put some interesting ones in there, "No.67: lunge wildly at the pope", just to see what would happen.

(from www.imbd.com)

If you've ever been to a post-funeral gathering, or a leaving do, or anything like that I guess you've listened to stories of old letting you know things about the person who is being remembered: Things that you had never heard, and that may change your view of them completely, things which you wish you'd known before as you would have loved to take the time to talk to them about it, their experience, how it made them feel.

I'm also guessing that at times like this you may have thought, or even heard said out loud, something along the lines of, "I don't know why we didn't find out more about him/her while they were still around, rather than wait until now when it's too late."

It's happened to me lots. So why do we wait until it's too late? Instead of doing something after they've departed, why do we constantly forget to talk, to find out about each other while we're still around? For me, tomorrow may be too late, so why take the risk? I have to start talking with people - really talking with them, finding out who they really are.

I encourage you to do the same this week: Find one person that you like but don't really know, and talk to each other about what really matters to you both.

In the Twinkling of an Eye

2006-09-20T18:53:00.000+01:00

Whatever your belief in God, life after death, one thing is for sure - life is precious. Whether our belief is that once we die, that's it: nothing; or that we come back as some lower life form until we seek enlightenment; or that we are changed into a spiritual entity, having been made perfect and living in the presence of God forever, this passage of scripture can have impact - it can tell us that we must live life to the max, we must get from it the most that we can, we must hold it lightly, because one day, unknown to each of us, this life will end, 'in the twinkling of an eye'. It's precious.
So, why don't we talk about death enough? Why don't we explore what it really means to live? Why are they such taboo subjects? To be honest, I guess we're just scared - partly because of the pain of even the thought of loosing a loved one to death, and maybe the thought that we, ourselves, will one day die. I can't comprehend quite what it means that I will be changed - one thing for sure, I am excited to find out; but I am also excited to find out what is waiting around the next corner whilst I am still alive.

1 Corinthians 15:50-57 (NIV)

"I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed - in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

"If your gift is to encourage, then encourage"

2006-09-12T12:18:00.000+01:00

I wrote this in a forum I am part of, in response to another thread on there, but thought I would share it here, too.

The Bible says that "If" our gift is encouragement, then we should encourage others.

This does not mean that one person may have the ability, and another may not - it means that some people it is going to be a major part within their ministry and way of life - it's a spiritual gift. But we all have a responsibility to encourage - we all have the ability to do so.

This encouragement may take the form of speaking empowering words to someone who you see is doing something incredible, or someone who is struggling like crazy, but with perseverance. It may also be sharing part of yourself and your testimony (not just meaning how you came to faith in Yahweh, but of what God is doing in your life today) publicly or privately with others when appropriate.

So, let's encourage one another - regardless of whether we share the same faith or not.

Anyone care to share?!

Getting Things Into Perspective

2006-09-04T12:50:00.000+01:00

In July, I moved into a very beautiful three storey house, where I had the top-right end of it to myself. Catering for myself has been really good - I've avoided frozen ready-meals. The only frozen veg I've used is peas! I feel better for it by a long way.

Then, last Sunday, I got told by my landlord & landlady that for various reasons I would need to move out before the end of September. They have been very good about this, and there is certainly no bad blood between us at all, due to the circumstances; but the fact remains that I was getting fairly settled into the place and really loved the area I was living in. I am not worried at all, as I know that there are enough people I count as friends who will not see me go homeless until I find a suitable alternative for myself. It would have been easy to kick up a fuss I suppose - I just didn't see any point.

Two days later, I got a message saying that someone I had lived and worked with whilst on the Lee Abbey Community a few years ago, had suddenly dropped dead that same Sunday. He was my age. It was obviously a shock hearing that someone I knew and got on well with, although not 'best friends' at all, was suddenly gone: Someone with a fantastic heart and personality, who had a great future ahead of him, someone my age, just stopped being. As with many incidences, this has made me consider life and how much I, we, take it for granted a lot of the time. And as someone else said when I was talking about it yesterday: "It will affect you for a short time" - this is true, then I shall go back to being blissfully ignorant about the fragility and gift of life again for a while - I wish I wouldn't, but inevitably I, and you, will.

I just hope that each happening like this leaves part of me changed properly, and impacts how I view life, gifts, and others, daily - not just "For a short time".

A New Start in a Familiar Place

2006-09-04T12:43:00.000+01:00

Today is the first day back at work after a fairly long break over summer. I'm excited! Why? This year I don't have to concentrate on both placement and uni course, but instead I have more hours in which to really concentrate on what I'm doing here in the schools, local community, and church. (I'm also looking forward to the first pay cheque - as is Mr Bank Manager!!)

I can't quite believe I've been here a year already - the time has flown by. Today is one in which I need to sit down, and work out a rough plan for the coming months. It's been productive so far at least. I'm excited to see what can be achieved before the next summer holidays come round again. I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

Blogs - the long and the short of them

2006-07-20T13:32:00.000+01:00

Two realtives of mine were talking about blogs - one had seen my signature with blog address at the end of an email and enquired as to what on earth a blog was. My other relative declared something along the lines of "It's an online diary for very sad people who usually write too way too much."

Oops! I am a sad person in that case! Mind you, having said that, this entry is short!

En-ger-land Flags... How long?!

2006-07-02T09:16:00.000+01:00

Okay, so Eng-er-land lost last night - I didn't find out until much later as I was in bed with a migraine - how exciting!

I belong to a mailing list called "Freecycle" - basically if there's anything you don't want or need anymore, but still serves a purpose, you advertise on this site for people to come and collect - no money exchanges hands - it's to try and get people not to go to the tip with stuff that still has life left in it. I recently got a fridge-freezer from it!!

ANYHOW...! When I checked me email this morning, someone has obviously gone off England again - the subject line says what they are offering, the main email says any useful info about it...

Subject: Offered England flag,Car flag,furry dice etc............ Come and take it away!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oh yes, this was sent at 7:40pm]

It's interesting just how quickly we go off of things and people when they don't live up to our expectation, isn't it!

I wonder how many cars will have dismantled their flags already!

I wonder what 'supporting' or 'following' a team or person means to people like this, who put their all in until something goes pear-shaped and suddenly that team or person is useless in their eyes. Hey, football's only a game, right? At the end of the day England did their best, but didn't do as good as Portugal - so they got sent home. IS that any reason to stop supporting them? Maybe a time like this is when we need to show them our support the most.

I ain't a football fan, but enjoyed getting into a bit of the hype of this, and do watch when England are playing the bigger games, so was gutted to hear they were knocked out. I do think the flags (and many other things) on cars looked completely naff, but there ya go - so in a way I'm happy that they're going - but that's besides the point!

What's your reaction to England loosing? - Are you ripping down the flags in disgust, maybe even mourning? Do you even care? Or is it a case of 'Rule Britannia'?!

I Forget Now...

2006-06-26T22:43:00.000+01:00

On of the more random blogs, I feel!

I was just chatting to my friend, Kirsty, and talking about amnesia (we got onto the subject in a very round-about way).

And these questions came to mind...

"Hey, you know what I don't understand? People that have forgotten 'everything' - you know that they exist, right? Well, how on earth do they know how to talk (in order to communicate that they've forgotten everything)?! And something else I've literally just thought of, how about controlling their bladders? - I mean, surely if they forgot 'everything' - they must have reverted back to new born in understanding of the world around them?"

Please, does anyone have any answers to this?!

Cheers dudes and dudettes!!!

When I'm old...

2006-06-26T19:21:00.000+01:00

I was preparing an assembly today for later this week on 'Tolerance'. I was inspired - thanks to a discussion with one of the lab technicians at FCC - to use an old man as a basis. It got me thinking about who is being tolerant of whom, and wondered what it must be like to be an older person (thinking late 70's+) living in today's society. With this in mind, I began typing a few thoughts down, and it turned into the following monologue...

"I was told to come and speak to you about growing old. I don't know why - maybe it's because they know I will tell you what you need to hear.

When I was a young boy - about your age - we had great respect for our elders - that's our parents and teachers, and anyone else we met in the street. If we did not show respect at school, we would get the cane across our backsides - "6 of the best" the headmaster used to say; or up to ten whacks across the knuckles with the edge of a ruler - that usually brought blood.

If we were rude or disobedient at home, then father would get the slipper and give us a good whack on the backside. And then we would be sent to our room with no supper.

You children today have got it so easy. You are wrapped up in cotton wool and allowed to do what you want. You are all extremely rude to everybody, and you have no respect - I doubt you even know what it means any more.

Oh yes, the cane and ruler were both painful, but it taught us a lot. We knew when to sit down and when to shut up. But you all answer back without even thinking how rude you are being.

My friends often talk about our neighbourhoods, and how you have all messed them up. You walk around swearing - even when little children are there with their parents - and you don't seem to care that you are always offending people.

They should bring back punishment - that would make you think and smarten yourselves up. You dress appallingly - the boys with their jeans half way down the legs, and the girls wearing next to nothing - it's absolutely disgusting.

You go around smoking and drinking - even some of you at your age ' you don't even care that you might be killing your bodies with that.

In my day we had boundaries - we knew when we were going too far and knew when it was time to stop. But nowadays you have no idea what boundaries are. I hate walking in the street now - especially at night time. You young people all going around in your gangs, causing a nuisance - I guess if there were more police around you may think differently. The streets just aren't safe for us old people any more.

We always read about you all going round in gangs and causing muggings, and even trying to sneak into our homes by pretending you want to help with something, then you steal all our possessions. My old age is meant to be a reward for the hard work that I put in throughout my life, but I don't like it most of the time because you make the world a scary place for me and my friends, and you don't seem to notice or even care.

Last year my friend had a heart attack because some of you started shouting through her letter box on Halloween when she wouldn't answer the door. Do you understand? You scared her so much that she nearly died. She's alive still, thank goodness - but you almost killed her - you are so focussed on yourselves and what you want - that you don't bother thinking how you make others feel.

Sometimes I think that I look forward to dying; because when I'm dead and gone I wont ever have to worry about meeting a crowd of you when I'm on my way to the shops for the paper and milk, and I wont have to wonder whether this is the crowd that are going to knock me down and steal everything I have with me.

I guess I'm just too old for this world now. I know most of you are okay really, it's just so difficult for me to see a world becoming so fast, and so very different from when I was at school. And when I read in the papers about other old people dying and you young people who have ASBO's, I get scared about my own life and scared of you. I'm worried about what you might do to my friends. But you don't make it easy for us.... Hmm, maybe we haven't made it easy for you.... Sorry.

I do wonder one thing, though - and this is why I'm glad I'm old now, and not in fifty years time: If the world is going to keep changing and getting scarier every day, and if respect for others keeps getting less and less, I wonder what it will be like for you when you get old; and whether you will be scared to step outside of your own front door."

Change, and new experience can be scary - especially when you don't understand it. Think back to a time when you had to make a big change, or do something new. How did you feel? What were you thinking? Now imagine seeing these sorts of changes every day and not understanding any of it.

This divide isn't just between young people and old people; we will never know what is going on in the private lives of others, so when they seem to be annoying or don't seem to like things about us, we need to try to stop and think: is the problem their problem that they need to deal with, or do we need to stop and look at ourselves to see if we need to change; most of the time it's going to be a mixture of the two, and it may be confusing - that's why we also need to be prepared to discuss with others who are not necessarily our own peers.

In CYM but not of it... anymore... well, almost

2006-06-16T10:10:00.000+01:00

The apostle, Paul, talks about being "In the world, but not of it". He sees more, the bigger picture, than just his ministry on this earth. On the one hand, he is alive, he does exist, all within the confines of an earthly structure and under the rule of emperors and kings; yet on the other hand Paul firmly believes and yearns to be 100% in the Kingdom of God which surrounds him constantly.

I wonder when Paul says this whether he's feeling in any way ths same as me, and my other peers from the degree course - we know that these three years have been only a short season in our lives, and we are ready to move out now, to move on to bigger things. Yet we still have a few weeks to go - the future is so evident for many of us and we can't wait to get there, but at the same time the today is vital. The last few weeks still need to receive time and concentration; we are still students with CYM, yet our minds have already left the building it seems, looking for the next piece of the puzzle of our lives to pick up and put into the ever-growing, changing stories which have intertwined with each other for these three years. For some, we will still see glimpses of the past, some of these intertwinings will continue for years to come, others will remain as memories, but memories, none-the-less, which will have influenced and transformed us in some way.

So, as Youth & Community Workers with a faith in Jesus Christ, as we leave CYM we continue to be in this world - not of it, facing each day as a new challenge for blessing, challenging and walking with others, and allowing ourselves to grow through the experiecnes we will continue to be a part of.

A Decent Proposal

2006-04-21T09:36:00.000+01:00

Well, it still feels fairly random, but on Friday 7th April, just before midday, I proposed to my now fiancee, Claire. (I know there should be an accent above the first 'e' in 'fiancee' but blogger keeps messing it up when I publish it - fiancée, see! - so apologies to any perfectionists!!)

This photo is us just after she had said 'Yes!' on Jenny's Leap at Lee Abbey, Lynton, North Devon; which has an amazing view of the ocean and surrounding countryside & cliffs.

I managed to mix traditional (down on one knee) with my own 'style' to propose, and worked a treat; well, Claire didn't run off crying, but decided to stay and be everso slightly more than happy, so I take it that it worked, anyhow!!

Now we have just over two years to wait until the 'big day', as I am now fairly settled here in Frome and soon to be finding my own place, rather than lodging; and Claire has two more years of study left in Exeter. It's a bit of a pig, but at the end of the day it's also good having the time to really be able to get to know each other on this new level and enjoy each other's company and support as I come to the end of my studies and Claire continues in hers.

Not too much deep thinking gone on in this blog post but, hey, it's something at the forefront of my mind and life at the moment, so I thought I'd share it :D

Good Grief?

2006-03-31T15:13:00.000+01:00

The relation of someone very close to me died this afternoon. All I can do is sit here and feel pretty much useless. But, still, that I am here ready to talk on the other end of a phone, and praying, seems to be a comfort for my friend.

In this time of turmoil, my friends family are all grieving - all in various ways. Or are they? For some of the family, the time of mourning and grieving begin months ago when the elderly family member began being ill, and as the life of this person had seemed to go from perky to death's door, then dramatically up hill again, it seems as though people were unsure whether they should be letting go or not. The time has come, where there is at least a final; a final which can also be the start of a definite letting go of a loved one.

Yet, amidst all this turmoil there can still be found joy and happiness. To some, that there can still be smiles and laughter would seem out of place, to others it's one way of coping with emotions never before experienced, therefore not understood, and for some, life must just go on. Everyone mourns loss differently - loss of a loved one through death; loss that comes through moving away from an area known as 'home' for years; loss of an ability through injury; as well as many more. So is it right to find a place of contentment in all of this where life continues? Is it wrong? Is it vital?

When I meet with my friend, I know that the first thing we do is to give each other a massive hug - which will say more than any attempt of sympathy or words of encouragement that 'life will get better, you'll see!' will ever be able to say. It's in the silence that God speaks to many, and it's in the silence that many can find an inner place of solitude, whilst still surrounded by the throws of life. It's through the shedding of tears that burdens can be lifted. 'Jesus began to weep' (John 11:35 - NRSV), is an often used quote when Christians try to persuade people out of the depths of despair over the death of a loved one - and I don't think it usually holds much weight for many just to know that he shed a few tears. We are not told how long He wept for, but the word 'weeping' certainly suggests more than a few tears: weeping suggests all-out noisy cries, and (without meaning to sound irreligious) a dripping nose. Yet even He, who knew that Lazarus was about to be raised from the dead, needed to grieve at the time. Jesus knew that there were greater things for Lazarus, that the death was not the end. I can't take from that that individuals must immediately spring back to life. For one thing, when a person dies physically on this earth, they have died with no Christ to bring them back as we would like. Yet I know that my friend can still take some comfort in this family member's death, and that now the family can breathing a huge sigh or relief that there are no more 'what ifs', and that their loved one is no longer holding on by a thread, or being kept alive purely by medication.

Once I have hugged my friend, we will walk together and share story with each other, which will involve the wonderful release of stresses through the gift of laughter as well as tears. And, although the grief will not be forgotten about, it can be laid to the side for a while; It will have it's affects on the time shared together, and the time shared together will, in response, have it's own affects on the grieving process.